Freewrite #5

RANDOM THOUGHTS --

The time is set and the day is long and the work is piled and the will is shallow.  The writing on the wall says the words of the prophets were plagiarized. People do care. People pay attention to the most minute details and find the discrepancies. 

Only the interpretation is what mean anything to them. The factors are encased in a magnificent array of cautionary tales. On cannot separate the abundance of hope from the dreadful reality that exists inside a sponge. The chemistry, the physical manifestation of atoms altering one another are just too much. 

I am sad tonight. I will be sad tomorrow. I have been sad before and yet I am helpless to abate it. I cannot explain what I cannot explain no matter how many times is is asked and in what new way. Call it a disease if you must.  Call it a curse. 
Call it at supper time to come and eat.

I lack the capacity not not. carry two burdens. It is not easy. It is not what I asked for. But it is real. The conventional wisdom is contrary to that. The truth is a note spike that assailed my hand with the last memo that said I'm sorry. 

It is useless to pretend. I have pretended and the truth is heads and the coin lands on heads most of the time. I am not a Fulbright scholar. I can tell you that  the head of a pin is no place for dreams. I can tell you that people are all deserving of liberty, though far too few have it. 

I wrangle here with a heart beat and a feeling that. I am missing something. Maybe you have it. Maybe you don't.  I can't be certain but my time is up. 


​#Freewrite