Recently my mother passed away. Her decline came rather swiftly as a result of a brain tumor and likely a series of small strokes as well. She passed away in the afternoon and in the evening when arrived home I was greeted by my wife who said to me, your a orphan now. I chuckled at the comet. Still, the words kept coming back to me the next day.
My father passed away in 2005. Both paternal and maternal grandparents on both sides of my family are deceased. Cathy's biological parents are deceased as well as her grand parents. She has a step mother that is surviving but as fare as actual birth parents, she too has been an orphan for a while now. It is a peculiar thing to reflect upon that sort of aloneness that you suddenly find yourself in.
I try to be static. I suppose because it seems safe. All the time the world around me is not static. Therefore there is no real safety in being a static fixture throughout life. Not even my words can remain static. Language is changing, evolving I suppose. This is the best excuse for me to abandon the fight against such change. Water follows the path of least resistance. A life of resistance will wear you down.
There is still a place and a time for resistance. In the course of struggle for freedom and justice. These are principals which demand our attention. But as for the general flow of life, the highs and lows, the tides, the light, and the darkness... These things are a part of the flow and resistance is denies experiencing life.
Misc Thoughts & Actions
Lots of ideas floating around this past week leading me to some rough language on pages...
Like "portrait of a closing pitcher" or messing around with Saturn. Balance, counter balance, shifting stars, dominoes, and a detachment from the ebb and flow. A draft of "The Father of All Things" actually materialized today.
Some thoughts about AWP17 running through my mind. Missing this year I'd really like to get there for next 2017. This week I have to start looking into hotel coast and flights.
New Poets & Writers magazine to read this week.
Silas is demanding his late feeding so I guess I am through here tonight.
Michael Allyn Wells - notes & musings